Christians are straight up FREAKS
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
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