this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
