D3 body, D1 cock
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
We had sex on a dog bed..
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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