Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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