I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
It's never too late to be topless.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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