there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
tell me about the fingering
Randomize