The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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