That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
