Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
My feet surprised me
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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