how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
