did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize