im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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