this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize