I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
