No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
