No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
