And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
