dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
