Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(651): View more from Minnesota

I accidentally had phone sex last night

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(256): View more from Alabama

Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.

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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.

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(720): View more from Colorado

i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?

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(972): View more from Texas

I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.

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(816): View more from Missouri

Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.

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(419): View more from Ohio

I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.

(1-419): View more from Ohio

Please do.

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