is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
this boner is exhausting
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize