dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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