I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
