This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I AM VODKA MAN
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
