You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
