I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
