well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
