go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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