I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
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