shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize