don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
one two three fourrrrnication!
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Randomize
