More tranny stories later!
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
