Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
