there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
