As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
