I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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