Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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