Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
