Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
