I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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