Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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