My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
So much rum. So many feels.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
