i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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