Can i not drive my cunt home
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
