i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
