i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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