The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
