Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
