I need help removing her.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
