The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
