Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize