we have pet lesbian snakes
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Randomize
