we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize