Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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