what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
