I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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