your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
