So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
