Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
