One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
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