I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
