yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize