in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
