she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
