I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
