Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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