Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Randomize
