12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
