Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
