"it" just moved
honey bunches of taint.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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