maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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