Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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