Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
We are two peas in an std pod
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
So vagazzling was a success
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize