these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
