I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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