he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
