Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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